By Jennifer Bailey
Self-awareness is a personal trait that can take you far in your professional life. However, self-awareness and self-criticism are distinct concepts.
Understood.org defines self-awareness as the ability to tune into your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Self-criticism, as defined by Psychology Today, is the tendency to evaluate oneself harshly.
Mercedes Swan, a career coach and the founder of Career Love, a social impact organization that creates safe, empowering environments for high-performing Black women, shared four ways to help you move away from your self-critic and closer to self-awareness.
Be your own cheerleader
Swan emphasized the importance of noticing your successes. If you struggle with being your own cheerleader, Swan suggests a limiting belief buster exercise, the exercise of limiting belief busters, using the example of wanting a job but thinking you would not be able to get it.
First, play devil’s advocate: “So give me some of the evidence that says you can’t have that job. And I want you to do your best to play devil’s advocate for yourself. So go ahead and say, ‘I’ve never done the job.’ Get all the negative thoughts that are related to that out of the way,” said Swan.
Then, look for evidence that it is possible and the positive beliefs that could follow. “Start to look at this the opposite way. Now I want you to find evidence that it’s possible. If that happened, what would be that positive belief that you had that encouraged you or spurred you forward? And what would you do differently based on that belief?” Swan said.
Build your village
The familiar proverb “it takes a village” is often associated with raising children; however, Swan emphasizes the importance of building a social support network of people you trust in the form of family, friends, and mentors inside and outside the workplace.
People who are your village are going to help you see yourself for you, if you can’t,” said Swan.
Set goals for yourself
To help people shift toward self-awareness, goal setting is an important part of the process. Swan said it is essential to plan where you want to go professionally and align the steps needed to get there.
Be intentional about asking for feedback
Being able to listen to constructive criticism is a necessary skill in the workplace; however, Swan emphasized being strategic about the people you approach when asking for feedback.
She suggested going to the people in your village rather than seeking validation from unsupportive supervisors. She also suggested asking for more specific feedback, focusing on work projects instead of broad character traits.
Jennifer Bailey is a licensed clinical social worker and registered drama therapist.
