Amaya Gentry
Online dating has become a common way for Americans to meet romantic partners, but researchers are still studying how it shapes the way people communicate. As the practice has become more widespread, the stigma surrounding it has diminished.
According to University of Wisconsin-Madison communication arts professor Catalina Toma, “People thought they [dating apps] were a crutch for the desperate, much in the same way newspaper personals were regarded … These were technologies or media for people who struggle to get face-to-face dates, so they had to resort to online dating.”
A 2019 study led by Stanford University sociologist Michael Rosenfeld and published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that approximately 39% of heterosexual couples formed their relationships online in 2017. Researchers identified 2013 as the approximate year online dating surpassed meeting through friends.
A 2020 Pew Research Center survey also reported that 48% of adults ages 18 to 29 and 38% of those ages 30 to 49 had used a dating site or app at least once. Separately, a 2020 Pew Research Center report found that 55% of lesbian, gay or bisexual adults had used a dating site or app.
According to a 2025 Forbes survey, more than half of the surveyed 18- to 29-year-olds and 37% of those ages 30 to 49 are currently online dating.
People use dating apps for varied reasons, including seeking relationships, pursuing casual encounters, meeting others and exploring the platforms. Researchers have examined whether preferences for online interaction and compulsive dating-app use are associated with emotional well-being and communication patterns.
The appeal of online dating
Many people choose online dating instead of meeting potential partners in person. In a Psychology Today article, psychologist and author Jessica De La Mare describes four motivations for using dating apps: relationship-oriented, social, self-development and entertainment or curiosity.
Relationship-oriented motivations include seeking a long-term partner or a casual encounter.
Social motivations may include following a trend, responding to recommendations, meeting new people or seeking validation.
People motivated by self-development may want to move on from a former partner, find someone with a similar sexual orientation or improve their flirting and social skills.
Those motivated by curiosity may chat while traveling, taking a work break or studying, or explore dating apps to learn how they work.
Additionally, Alexandra McKellar-Kirchoff, writing for PsychAlive, identifies several reasons people use dating apps, including a reduced fear of rejection, convenience and the ability to remain anonymous until they are ready to reveal their identities.
Deception and online dating
Research has examined associations between dating-app use, online interaction preferences and emotional well-being.
A 2023 study published in Cyberpsychology: Journal of Psychosocial Research on Cyberspace examined the relationship between dating-app use, preference for online social interaction and emotional well-being. The study examined 361 online dating app users in China. The study found an association between a preference for online social interaction and compulsive dating-app use.
In a 2018 study, Stanford researchers Jeffrey Hancock and David Markowitz examined deception in mobile dating conversations. They recruited more than 200 users and analyzed more than 3,000 messages sent after an initial match but before the users met in person.
Nearly two-thirds of participants reported not telling any lies, while approximately 7% of messages were reported as deceptive.
The researchers found that some deceptive messages involved exaggerating personal interests or availability to appear more attractive. About 30% of the deceptive messages were classified as “butler lies,” or polite deceptions used to initiate or end conversations.
The findings suggest that deception in dating-app messages was relatively uncommon and often served strategic purposes. The researchers concluded that most messages in their sample were honest, which they described as a positive step toward building trust in a new romantic relationship.
Misrepresentation and online dating
“Kittenfishing” is a form of online dating misrepresentation that involves exaggerating or selectively presenting personal information to appear more appealing.
The term comes from the larger term catfishing, which involves creating a false online identity to deceive another person, sometimes for financial, emotional or other reasons. Kittenfishing involves exaggerating or selectively presenting personal information for the purpose of appearing more attractive to potential matches.
The dating app Hinge introduced the term kittenfishing in 2017 to describe relatively minor misrepresentations in dating profiles. Examples include exaggerating height, using outdated or heavily edited photos or overstating personal qualities.
Misleading profiles can create unrealistic expectations that may lead to disappointment when people meet in person. Researchers and dating experts like Amy Chan, author of the book “Unsingle,” recommend accurate profile information to help set realistic expectations before an in-person meeting.
Online dating has become a common way to meet romantic partners, changing how people initiate relationships and communicate. Online dating is particularly common among younger adults, and research has found that online platforms play an important role in how LGBTQ+ people meet partners.
Dating apps can facilitate communication, but some users engage in deceptive self-presentation or use strategic messages to manage conversations. The 2018 study found that most participants reported not lying in dating-app conversations, although a small proportion of messages were deceptive. While people date online for many different reasons, it appears that most people approach online dating honestly in order to get the most out of their experience online.
Amaya Gentry has a bachelor’s degree in biology and has worked as a quality control chemist.
