In a culture that suggests adults should feel settled and fulfilled by their 30s or 40s, needing a reset can feel like a personal failure.
But in a city shaped by reinvention and resilience, Clevelanders understand that starting over is rarely glamorous. More often, it is the gritty work of rebuilding after divorce, job loss, grief or the realization that the life you built no longer fits.
In a city where your past may be only a few blocks away, community ties run deep and social circles can feel fixed, beginning again can be both isolating and transformative.
To better understand what starting over in Cleveland looks like, I spoke with several residents who have rebuilt their lives after major setbacks or who are creating lives that feel more authentic to who they are today.
Redefining identity after loss
For Ash Cohen, starting over began after the loss of both parents within eight months. Her mother died of cancer in 2023. Her father died the following year after an unexpected illness.
“Most people don’t know what it’s like to lose both parents back-to-back,” Cohen said. “I felt like I had to cope with that loss on my own. Grief caused me to disconnect from old friends and extended family. It was isolating, but being alone gave me the opportunity to start over.”
Cohen said the isolation gave her the time and space to explore her gender identity away from the weight of external judgment. She now identifies as nonbinary. Cohen describes this period of her life as emotionally complex but necessary for survival.
“On one hand, I was dealing with the intense grief of knowing I would never see my parents again,” Cohen said. “On the other hand, I felt free knowing I was no longer bound by their expectations.”
After growing up on Cleveland’s East Side, Cohen moved to Lakewood, where she found support in the city’s LGBTQ+ community.
“I met people who were kind and supportive,” Cohen said. “Watching others be themselves gave me permission to do the same. It feels like a safe space.”
Returning home
For Karlton Laster, starting over meant returning home to Cleveland.
After leaving a policy consulting job in Minneapolis, Laster moved back to the city and is temporarily living with family members while working for a local nonprofit and searching for his next opportunity. The transition has required some adjustment.
Laster’s bedroom is in the basement, which occasionally floods during heavy storms. “I feel like a refugee every time it rains,” Laster said with a laugh.
Returning home has provided stability, but it has also underscored how much life has changed since his 20s, he said. Many of Laster’s longtime friends are raising families and juggling demanding work schedules.
“I pretty much gravitated back to old social circles,” Laster said. “It’s different now. Friends are having kids and not leaving the house as much, so I have to find creative ways to spend time with them.”
He said he talks to his best friend on the phone more often than he sees him in person, even though they now live in the same city.
Although Laster does not expect to remain in Cleveland long term, he said the city will always feel like home.
Rebuilding after personal upheaval
For Lauren Pearce, starting over began with a leap of faith. An internationally recognized mixed-media artist, muralist and single mother of two, Pearce moved to Cleveland from West Palm Beach, Florida, in 2016 with her then-husband and children. At the time, she had never lived outside her hometown.
Pearce said the move was driven in part by a search for stronger autism resources after her youngest son was diagnosed with autism. Pearce would later receive her own diagnosis.
“I googled the top 10 cities to live in for autism resources, and Cleveland was one of them,” she said. Four years later, Pearce divorced and faced a different kind of reset: rebuilding her personal life while raising two children and expanding her career.
“Navigating complex relationships can be difficult at this stage in life, especially as an autistic person,” Pearce said. “Not everybody is as upfront as me, which can make things complicated.”
Despite those challenges, Pearce said she has built a thriving art practice and a strong support network in Cleveland’s creative community.
“I’ve had an easier time building community among other artists and creatives,” Pearce said. “I go slow when it comes to building relationships, allowing my body to process interactions over time. I’ve felt most supported by other artists and neurodivergent folks.”
Moving forward
The stories of Cohen, Laster and Pearce suggest that starting over is a natural part of life. Relationships change. Jobs end. Parents die. The slow work of rebuilding begins in the aftermath.
For these residents, starting over involved rebuilding routines, relationships and community after major life changes.
Chelsea Daniel is a Cleveland-based writer and community advocate. She is a 2025 Breakthrough Writing Resident with Literary Cleveland.
