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By Sheila Ferguson
It is what it is! If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.
Self-deception and denial are two of the biggest barriers to our personal development, fulfillment, purpose, and happiness. Getting real with yourself may be challenging, but it is one of the most important tasks you will ever undertake. It is a game-changer and will make you ask, “why didn’t I do this sooner?”
The sooner you learn to size up a situation and make constructive choices, the better. Stop making excuses or making poor choices because it is easier.
You must take command over your life. Practicing the art of optimal choice-making and truth-telling involves gaining confidence in the belief that you deserve the best.
1) Choosing to be conscious and aware.
2) Accepting only the truth about the people and situations in your life, and whether they feel right for you.
3) Listening to both your head and your heart to guide you through what is suitable for you.
4) Being clear about the people and behaviors you will not tolerate.
My Mom used to say that whenever you tell a lie you only hurt yourself. We lie to ourselves because the truth hurts, or because we are disappointed by another person. When we become aware of the need to change, it is easy to deceive ourselves and get stuck.
What is Backfiring in Your Brain?
Some of you may wonder what is going on in our brain that makes accepting truth and reality so difficult. Emotions are controlled by the brain’s frontal lobe, the largest section of the brain. This area also controls reasoning, problem-solving, decision making, language, and personality traits. In humans, it develops in strength as we move into our late twenties and early thirties.
We have all had moments when we dismiss the seriousness of an issue and delay taking action. In those instances, we play a game of self-deception that may be based on fear or pure denial. In this mode, it is easy to brush things off with comments like, “Oh, I think I will wait and see; I am sure that things will get better, or I am just being overly sensitive.” Often, we are simply denying that something in our lives is out of order. Most of us at one time or another have denied:
- Aches or pains that require urgent medical attention
- Signs that our child’s behavior is out of hand and needs immediate correction
- Jobs that do not feed our soul or seed our growth
- Unequal relationships where you are the only one giving time, talent, energy, care, and money with no return
- Spaces that are either too big or too cramped and do not meet your needs
- Patterns of accepting less than we deserve.
Whenever things are not working out, do not delay in taking corrective action. Remember that the need to change could mean leaving behind people, places, and things that hinder your growth. Either way, swift and immediate action can make the difference between remaining stagnant for a lifetime or fulfilling your potential!
Taking action opens new windows and doors to your life. Break the cycle of self-deception by giving yourself quiet time to reflect and examine those areas of your life where you have the most success and satisfaction.
Identify what you want out of life. Focus on removing the barriers to achieving your goals for love, health, peace, happiness, and career success.
I wish you all the best in 2022!